Unless…

Marisa says: Yes, I know you’ve been wondering. At long last, we were able to see The Lorax. Thanks to Amy for getting us tickets for the preview screening and a box of swag, to Greg and the folks at Universal who sent t-shirts and fun stuff for the kids (mustaches!), and to Jon who sent the boys 4 ft Lorax fatheads. We loved the movie and were so thrilled to get to see it. It meant a lot to reach this milestone.

Unfortunately, in the last week, we have learned that we need to set our sights much closer for the next milestone. Before going to Boston, Scott had a PET scan. Upon our return, we learned that the scan showed two new mets, one in L2 in his spine and one in his left hip and overall progression of the cancer, consistent with the fact that he has not been on chemo while we evaluate the trials and look for options. We met with the radiation oncologist last Monday and started treatment on Tuesday, with the idea of addressing the back pain Scott has been experiencing. Also on Tuesday, Scott went for his regularly scheduled stent change. After the procedure, the doctor told me that it was the most difficult procedure he had performed…that Scott’s insides had changed dramatically since the last procedure in December, or more concerning, even since the stomach surgery a month ago.

On Wednesday, we saw the oncologist who reviewed all the recent information with us and told Scott that, given his performance status, he could not have chemo that day. At this point, we are evaluating whether Scott’s status will improve so that he can have chemo again.

This cancer, this nasty, thieving cancer. It has taken advantage of the chemo break to take off in a way it never has before, and now we may be at the point where we cannot beat it back. Almost two years since diagnosis and here we are, changing the fight and evaluating whether to turn our energies to comfort and peace.

But, Boston (Dana Farber) went really well. They had some good ideas to offer Scott and others who have moved beyond the standard PC treatments. However, it doesn’t look like we will be availing ourselves of those at this time. At present, Scott is in bed for most of the day and isn’t eating much. His weight has dropped quite a bit in the last month, whether from the surgery and it’s aftermath or the cancer, it doesn’t matter. The weight is lost and it may not come back.

Instead, we are working to control pain right now, trying to make him more comfortable. Trying to walk in the park once a day, to enjoy the sunshine, the birds chirping and the flowers blooming, as we transition into Spring. Hoping to spend time together as a family, and still finding fun things to do…when we can, when he can. Knowing his strength, Scott may rally yet. These are hard decisions that no one wants to have to make. Hard, hard decisions.

Pray for time. Pray for peace. Pray for a clear road forward. Pray BIG.