My Crappy Pancreas

May 22, 2012

O Captain! My Captain!

Filed under: Uncategorized — marisaandscott @ 8:12 pm

O Captain! My Captain!
By Walt Whitman

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
The arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Rest in peace, my love. Rest in peace.

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101 Comments »

  1. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Blessings.

    Comment by Barbara Lore — May 22, 2012 @ 8:18 pm | Reply

  2. I’ve been following your blog for a while now. My Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last November. It sucks.

    Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. XO Seana

    Comment by Seana — May 22, 2012 @ 8:23 pm | Reply

  3. Many prayers going up tonight for your family, Marisa. I will always remember Scott’s courage, bravery, and strength during the years he battled this ugly disease. He was my hero and fought valiantly. God Bless

    Comment by Cindi Gibbs-Wilborn — May 22, 2012 @ 8:25 pm | Reply

  4. I’m so sorry Marisa. You, your sons, and all your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Comment by Peggy — May 22, 2012 @ 8:25 pm | Reply

  5. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I knew Scott on briefly as one of a few Richmond JCC stay-at home dads,and always enjoyed our meetings with his sunny dispostion and obvious love for your boys. He fought the good fight and your support for him, and sharing of your experience with this Marisa, is so inspirational. I can only hope that if and when I am challanged in this way I can rise up and take it on with the same courage that you and he have shown. God bless you and your boys andf I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Comment by John Minor — May 22, 2012 @ 8:30 pm | Reply

  6. We all prayed “BIG” and now Scott is finally at peace. You all will always have wonderful memories of knowing such a loving and strong person.

    Comment by Andrea Griffith — May 22, 2012 @ 8:30 pm | Reply

  7. And I was doing so good with just your email, but now that I’ve read this I’ve got tears streaming down my face. Love to all of you!

    Comment by Indigo — May 22, 2012 @ 8:30 pm | Reply

    • It’s Kim, I don’t know how to sign out of this wordpress account. LOL! xoxo

      Comment by Indigo — May 22, 2012 @ 8:31 pm | Reply

  8. I send much love and prayers (as always) the fight to hold on to life and love is strong. Your family is full all that matters – love big pray big

    Comment by Barbara Doland — May 22, 2012 @ 8:33 pm | Reply

  9. Our prayers are with you, the boys and your family. May God give you comfort at this extraordinarily difficult time.

    Comment by Rhea Williams — May 22, 2012 @ 8:33 pm | Reply

  10. Oh, Marisa, I’m so, so very sorry for your loss. You have been so wonderfully brave through all of this, and so has Scott. Thinking of you and your beautiful boys.

    Comment by Audrey Ettinger — May 22, 2012 @ 8:48 pm | Reply

  11. Dear Marisa, a beautiful tribute to a heroic man.

    Comment by Mike Abram — May 22, 2012 @ 8:48 pm | Reply

  12. Marissa,
    My prayers are with you and the boys. I am sorry for your loss. Scott was a strong man and fought hard. He will forever have a place in my heart. Please email me when you have time. Love you guys!!!

    Comment by Keneshia Smith — May 22, 2012 @ 8:49 pm | Reply

  13. You are brave, you are strong and you are love. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys. Scott fought hard and strong…such a hero in my heart.

    Comment by Joy L. Lynch — May 22, 2012 @ 9:05 pm | Reply

  14. Dear Marisa, thinking of your family and you. May all the memories of Scott be a blessing for you and your family.

    Comment by Karen Zatz — May 22, 2012 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  15. Dear Marisa, we are really sorry for your families loss. As we’ve read this blog for the past year or so I have to admire the the strength and bravery of you and your husband. You and your boys will remain in our prayers. Thank you for allowing us all to pray and support you through this. You both fought the good fight. CANCER SUCKS.

    Comment by John Wirth — May 22, 2012 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  16. Inspired! My family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

    Comment by Dinika — May 22, 2012 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  17. Prayers and most sincere sympathy to you and your beautiful family. I have followed you for nearly two years through a similar battle with my father….he loved the idea that someone had the humor to entitle your blog the way you did. God bless you all and thank you for the wonderful example of strength you have shown.

    Comment by liza — May 22, 2012 @ 9:11 pm | Reply

  18. Marisa, My prayers are with you and your boys. Scott and you fought so valiantly. I have walked in your shoes and know what a difficult fight it was. I pray that you will find strength, peace, and solace in the days ahead. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Comment by Jane Adinolfi — May 22, 2012 @ 9:12 pm | Reply

  19. Marisa and boys,
    Even though Scott’s journey is done, his life lives on through his family and friends. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Dianne and Larry

    Comment by Dianne — May 22, 2012 @ 9:15 pm | Reply

  20. I’m sorry I never knew Scott personally, but you and he are heroes to us all. All the he is lives on in you and the boys, in your memories, and in your hearts. May his name be a blessing and may you find comfort in his spirit. Please let us all know what we can do to honor Scott’s memory.

    Comment by Clara Silver — May 22, 2012 @ 9:22 pm | Reply

  21. I have no words. Just want to send as much love as possible to all of you.

    Comment by Monya Phillip — May 22, 2012 @ 9:26 pm | Reply

  22. Dear Marisa and sons,

    I have read Whitman’s poem many times, but it never meant so much and conveyed so much power and grace as it did tonight. Finding the right words to express such varied and deep emotions is no easy task. I am saddened beyond my ability to tell. I have prayed with, and for, you and Scott for these two and hoped prayers would be answered. Perhaps they were in ways we cannot know. We will continue to keep you close to our hearts. Gwenda Tanner Ward

    Comment by Gwenda Ward — May 22, 2012 @ 9:30 pm | Reply

  23. Marisa,
    I heard the sad news. I was blessed to have Scott as my friend in high school. He was a beautiful, young man with a kind heart and soul back then. I can only imagine how he was as a husband and father. I will continue to pray Big for you and your boys. Please know others care and I send my love and peace to you from afar.

    Comment by Cyndi Kuzniak-Cluckey — May 22, 2012 @ 9:31 pm | Reply

  24. Marisa, the grace and tenacity that Scott and you brought to this battle have been so moving. The poem is a beautiful tribute. I hope for some comfort in adding – “a thing of beauty is a joy for ever…. It will never pass into nothingness”….

    Comment by Sue — May 22, 2012 @ 9:39 pm | Reply

  25. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys. VTL Am Ammons.

    Comment by Darrin, Karen and Mick Brege — May 22, 2012 @ 9:41 pm | Reply

  26. Marisa and family,
    Know that you and the boys are in our prayers. I have so many great memories of Scott from football, but even greater memories from our time together at Albion in the ATO house. Scott was insightful, passionate, driven, caring, and a true friend. I am blessed to have known him and I know all of those qualities and more are what will get your family through. I am truly sorry for your loss. God Bless. Still Praying Big.

    Comment by Scott McFarland — May 22, 2012 @ 9:45 pm | Reply

  27. Marisa, Cole and Max – I wish you strength as you learn a new normal; I wish you laughter mixed with your tears as you remember your beloved husband and father; I wish you patience during this transition; and I offer whatever support I can. Rest in peace, Scott.

    Comment by Gillian Johnson — May 22, 2012 @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  28. My dear Marisa,
    You do not know me, but I am an old classmate of Scott’s. My son and I have been praying BIG for a long time now. First for healing, then more time for The Lorax, and finally for comfort and peace. I hope you know how many love your family from afar. Your beautiful words tell all of your wonderful love for a great man. Your family’s reliance on God and each other, is what I believe gave you so much time together. I feel blessed to have been included in your loving and courageous journey. Please know, that I for one, would like continued updates. Just because Scott now walks with Angels, doesn’t mean we will stop praying BIG for you and the boys as you begin a new journey.
    Much love and peace to you and yours,
    In Christ,
    heather and j.d.

    Comment by heather drake — May 22, 2012 @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  29. Dear Marisa, Cole and Max,
    What a very brave and strong husband and father you have shared! He is a hero … never wanting to leave you. Know that his love will continue to surround you. May his courage give you the strength to live the life he wanted for each of you!
    Thought and prayers,
    Kay Montross

    Comment by Kay Montross — May 22, 2012 @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  30. I will always love you Scott. – Aaron

    Comment by Aaron — May 22, 2012 @ 9:56 pm | Reply

  31. Marisa & Family: I’m so unbelievably sad and my heart goes out to you and your boys. Although I never had the honor of meeting Scott, I feel as if I have through all of the postings. This was the most beautiful tribute I’ve ever seen and absolutely perfect. God Bless you and your family at this difficult time.

    Comment by Jane Nohr — May 22, 2012 @ 9:57 pm | Reply

  32. Marisa,
    We have been blessed to have met and to join our families together. You have been sweet, stoic and courageous to share such a personal journey with all of us. I pray God our father pour his grace and mercy upon you, Cole and Max. We love you, Uncle Bill and Aunt Cheryl

    Comment by Bill Bertram — May 22, 2012 @ 9:59 pm | Reply

  33. Marisa-
    My thoughts are with you and the boys. Mark

    Comment by Mark — May 22, 2012 @ 10:00 pm | Reply

  34. oh, Marisa, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Scott have been very brave through this fight. He endures in your boys, and I wish you all the strength and love in the world to continue in them.

    Comment by Mary Ann Campo Sorel — May 22, 2012 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  35. Marisa, Cole and sweet Max, I have no words… your Dad, your husband, will forever be a lasting symbol of determination and tenacity for me. You, Marisa, will forever symbolize strength, vigilance, and protection. I will continue to pray big prayers for peace and guidance for you all, during this raw time in your lives. I pray that God bless you and the boys, and hope you can feel the sweet softness of Scott looking down on you and know that he is with you still. I hold you all close to my heart.

    Comment by Kim Alix — May 22, 2012 @ 10:19 pm | Reply

  36. Marisa – I’m so sorry. I know you have many loving friends and family to hold you up. But know that I am here for you as someone who knows what it is like to lose a beloved husband to this terrible disease. I grieve for you and with you, and I wish you continued strength in the time to come.

    Comment by Minda Heidenreich — May 22, 2012 @ 10:26 pm | Reply

  37. Still praying big for your family, Marisa. Please know that you and Scott have left a powerful legacy by sharing your journey. May your memories of Scott comfort your family always. Much love to you!

    Comment by John & Melissa (Nicholson) Starkey — May 22, 2012 @ 10:29 pm | Reply

  38. Marissa and Boys,
    May peace be with you. Scott was an amazing person, I am so blessed to have been able to meet him. Know that he fought hard and will always be remembered. I wish you all the strength and love in the world. He is watching over you and lives on in you three. I will continue to pray big.
    With much love, Audrie

    Comment by Audrie Walls — May 22, 2012 @ 10:31 pm | Reply

  39. Marisa, Cole and Max, your beloved husband and wonderful father will always be with you. The power of his love, his incedible spirit and the memories you all have shared will be with you forever. Uncle Phetin and I Phetinsend you our prayers and love. We will continue to PRAY BIG!
    Aunt Joyce and Uncle Phetin

    Comment by Joyce R. Phillip — May 22, 2012 @ 10:34 pm | Reply

  40. Marisa, Ben and I send our prayers to you and the boys at this time and always. Love, Andrea.

    Comment by Andrea — May 22, 2012 @ 10:36 pm | Reply

  41. God Bless you Marissa and your boys, you have a beautiful angel with you.

    Comment by Robyn Beeman — May 22, 2012 @ 10:37 pm | Reply

  42. Dear Marisa, you don’t know me in “real life.” I discovered your blog last August when my father was diagnosed. I printed off your entire blog and re-assembled it in reverse chronological order so my dad could read it. He couldn’t cope with his diagnosis, and I handed him your words and said, “Look! Look at this amazing family LIVING with this disease.” I’ve consistently looked you and Scott for lessons in how to fight, how to keep going and how to live the day to day. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Thank you for being an inspiration and and sharing your journey.

    Comment by Kristin Meyer — May 22, 2012 @ 10:44 pm | Reply

  43. Marissa: What Cancer Cannot Do: “Cancer is so limited…It cannot cripple love. It cannot shatter hope. It cannot corrode faith. It cannot eat away peace. It cannot destroy confidence. It cannot kill friendship. It cannot shut out memories. It cannot silence courage. It cannot reduce eternal life. It cannot quench the Spirit.”

    May you and your sons feel the love of God and all of those who love you. You all fought as hard as you could against that mighty foe and stood up to it with courage and determination and you may feel at peace to know you did everything humanly possible to save Scott. There is comfort and peace in knowing that all avenues were explored and no stones left unturned. Our family has walked your path with the loss of my beloved husband Clint, so my heart is broken for you tonight.
    You are indeed a strong woman who stood by her man. Take care of yourself and let others help you. God Bless you and yours, Kathy Nobles Horseshoe Bay, TX

    Comment by Kathy Nobles — May 22, 2012 @ 10:48 pm | Reply

  44. Marissa and boys,

    Your family has demonstrated such courage and faith. My prayer for you is: Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you;he will never let the righteous fall.Psalm 55:22. Praying for peace for you and the boys.

    Pam Heacock

    Comment by pam heacock — May 22, 2012 @ 11:01 pm | Reply

  45. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and Cole and Max.

    Comment by Sonja Wagenaar — May 22, 2012 @ 11:02 pm | Reply

  46. Marisa, Cole and Max, my heart is broken for you all today, but my prayers continue for each of you. Scott will be greatly missed, as he was loved by many. Love to you all, Brenda.

    Comment by bjshealth — May 22, 2012 @ 11:06 pm | Reply

  47. Marisa,
    You and your boys are in my heartfelt prayers. Although it’s been years since we’ve seen one another and I was never fortunate enough to know Scott, keeping up with your blog allowed me a way to re/know you both. I thank God for his life and his legacy, and that you were blessed with each other’s love for so long- it does not end with physical death.

    Sending you lots of love,
    Melissa

    Comment by Melissa Givens — May 22, 2012 @ 11:09 pm | Reply

  48. scott was a man’s man, a gracious example, and a hilarious guy.
    i only knew him through high school, but he was a sincerely humble guy.
    prayers for you and your family in this difficult time…

    Comment by Ken DePeal — May 22, 2012 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  49. Marisa,

    I hadn’t yet seen this post when I left my voicemail this evening. What a beautiful and fitting poem.

    I am envisioning Scott receiving a warm welcome into Heaven for his incredibly courageous battle to remain hopeful, faithful, and focused in the moment on those he loves despite the cruelty of this disease. He won that battle, his own incredible strength fortified by that of God and his incredible wife and children.

    I am also envisioning God giving Scott a window into how much his handling and sharing of his journey forever changed the lives of so many impacted by this disease, and so many dealing with lesser challenges, who so needed the lessons in living and what matters most that Scott taught so effectively by his own example.

    Finally, I’m thinking of Scott completely free from pain, with his spirit completely filled with a peace greater than we can even comprehend.

    I wish you, Cole, and Max peace and comfort that exceeds all understanding as you go through this transition. You know that you have a large community near and far of people still praying BIG who love your family and want to help however we can.

    Love,

    Leslie

    Comment by Leslie Overton — May 22, 2012 @ 11:44 pm | Reply

  50. Marisa words cannot express the way I am feeling right now. You are a strong and beautiful lady and I want to thank you for sharing this journey, I will continue to pray for you and your boys Scott was a wonderful and courageous man. God Bless you and Guide you in the days to come.

    Comment by Tammy Jones-Riva — May 22, 2012 @ 11:46 pm | Reply

  51. Marissa, Cole and Max,
    Tonight we are saddened to hear you have lost Scott. We are praying BIG for peace and strenght for your family. Thank you for sharing Scott’s journey with us. It has helped many of us dealing with this disease. You are an amazing family!
    The Lee’s- Steve, Paige, Cole, Margaret and Conner

    Comment by Paige Lee — May 22, 2012 @ 11:48 pm | Reply

  52. Much love and prayers from The Longfellow Family <3.

    Comment by Jenny Longfellow (Riva's lil' sis) — May 22, 2012 @ 11:57 pm | Reply

  53. May you find comfort in knowing that others care and feel your loss. Your lives have touched so many people and have inspired them to fight the good fight. Remain focused on living life to the fullest just as you did with Scott. From experience I can say that nothing is ever the same after a cancer diagnosis. We just adjust to a “new” normal. The same can be said of death. Since my husband’s passing last February, my daughter and I have adjusted to a “new” normal once again. We cherish his memories and feel his presence as we do our best to carry on. Praying that God gives you peace and strength and carries you through these difficult days.

    Comment by Cathy Harmon — May 23, 2012 @ 12:00 am | Reply

  54. So sorry for your loss Marissa, Max&Cole. Marissa you are such a strong, compassionate, loving, nuturing individual that GOD has placed on this earth. With thoses attributes one can only love you even more each day. Marissa be patient and strong through this difficult time and I will continue to pray for your family. Love you Fi

    Comment by Fiona Sifontes — May 23, 2012 @ 12:19 am | Reply

  55. I’m so sorry you’ve lost the love of your life.

    Comment by Bronco46 — May 23, 2012 @ 12:28 am | Reply

  56. Marisa my condolences to you and the boys, my prayers are with you. I am so sorry for your lost

    Comment by Giouvanna Sifontes — May 23, 2012 @ 1:06 am | Reply

  57. Oh my dear Marisa- you lovely, strong, blessed woman. I am so, so sorry for you and Cole and Max. I am so very impressed by how fully and well you all lived as a family over these past few years. What amazing memories you all will carry forward. I can’t imagine anyone dealing with the awful cheat of pancreatic cancer with more grace, wisdom, humor, and love then you have.
    I love you,
    Alicia

    Comment by Alicia Zambelli — May 23, 2012 @ 1:36 am | Reply

  58. Marisa: I want to be strong enough to rally and focus on how to best comfort and support you, Cole, and Max. . . . but in this moment I just can’t get past the feelings of loss and sadness. Thanks for taking such great care of our friend on this journey.

    Comment by Spencer Overton — May 23, 2012 @ 2:07 am | Reply

  59. Rest in peace Scott, as is your personality, you fought hard defied all the odds creating hope for others. I pray for God’s blessing of protection and healing for family and friends

    Comment by Terence Thomas — May 23, 2012 @ 6:50 am | Reply

  60. Marisa, Cole and Max,

    What an amazing family you are! All my thoughts and prayers are with you during this time and I hope you find peace in knowing Scott is smiling down from Heaven peacefully at his loving family.

    Sincerely,

    Jacqueline Carmody

    Comment by Jacqueline Carmody — May 23, 2012 @ 7:14 am | Reply

  61. Marisa,
    I would “pray big” for Scott to have peace and solace in his mind and body throughout this journey. And I would also pray for you and the boys. You have been amazingly strong and courageous. I want to thank you for continuing to share your story.
    I believe Scott has his peace.

    Comment by Jennifer Roberts — May 23, 2012 @ 7:14 am | Reply

  62. Marisa, there are no words, but my thoughts are with you and your boys – such an amazing family and I know you will continue to be. Much love and prayers from Richmond!

    Comment by Yvette Bell — May 23, 2012 @ 7:14 am | Reply

  63. Marisa and boys, thoughts and prayers are with you. You and Scott have truly been an inspiration to all with your strength and grace through this whole ordeal. Sending you love and peace to you and the boys. Judi

    Comment by Judi Cecich — May 23, 2012 @ 7:38 am | Reply

  64. Marissa and family. I only know you through another PC warrior, Michael Cruse. I want to express my deepest sympathy for your loss. Through Mike, I know you, Scott, and the world of others fighting this courageous battle. I love you all for the gift of awareness that you have given me. Please find some level of comfort in the many lives that you have touched. I love you all.
    Jim Fajerski

    Comment by Jim Fajerski — May 23, 2012 @ 7:58 am | Reply

  65. Marisa and boys: I am so terribly sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
    maggie

    Comment by maggie — May 23, 2012 @ 8:09 am | Reply

  66. Those we love remain with us
    For love itself lives on,
    And cherished memories never fade
    Because a loved one’s gone.
    Those we love can never be
    More than a thought apart,
    For as long as there is memory,
    They’ll live on in the heart.

    – Author Unknown

    ____________________________________________________________

    Marisa, Cole and Max, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am truly sorry for your loss. Joyce Irvin

    Comment by Joyce Irvin — May 23, 2012 @ 8:11 am | Reply

  67. I honor the sadness. I honor your loss. Scott’s was truly a life well lived. Still holding you in our hearts with all our love. Dalinda

    Comment by Dalinda — May 23, 2012 @ 8:24 am | Reply

  68. Marissa,
    I’m so terribly sorry. I continue to pray for you and your boys and know that you will continue to exhibit the strength, courage and grace you have shown over the last two years as you start down this new path.

    Comment by Sheryl Stoessel-Suarez — May 23, 2012 @ 8:25 am | Reply

  69. Marisa, We have followed your Blog all along and we prayed along with you. As I read the poem through tears, I wanted you to know we are thinking of you and the boys, and that Scott will be greatly missed. May you have strength & peace in the days to come. Many Blessings to you…
    With Love, E.J., Nikki & Tre’ Pasteur

    Comment by E.J. & Nikki Pasteur — May 23, 2012 @ 8:25 am | Reply

  70. I am so very sorry for your loss of what you had and what could have been. Scott was truly such an inspiration, fighting so hard to stay with you all. I hope he is at peace, watching over you and your boys.
    You have been an amazing wife. Your boys have witnessed true love and the most positive attitude firsthand. When they look back on this journal you have kept, they will also see the words their dad has left behind that show how deeply he adored them.
    I hope your village will continue to rally for you. I am sure they will. Your family has touched and continues to touch my heart here in Australia.
    Praying big for your family as usual.

    Comment by Australian reader — May 23, 2012 @ 8:25 am | Reply

  71. Marissa:

    I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless Scott, you and your boys. Scott was the strongest, toughest – both physically and mentally, and most courageous man I have known. Despite his imposing physical size and strength, he was such a compassionate, intelligent, and loving person. I idolized him in college and learned so many things from him. He always made everything look easy. He was talented in so many different areas. Despite all of his accomplishments, I know that he was most proud of being a husband and a father. I feel so fortunate to have seen Scott back at Albion in the fall for homecoming. His attitude and spirit were nothing short of inspiring.

    Here is to the Ultimate Super Rega! May you rest in peace my brother. I love and respect you.

    VTL

    Scott Merchant

    Comment by Scott Merchant — May 23, 2012 @ 8:40 am | Reply

  72. Marisa, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and the boys. It is hard to imagine Scott not with us – i think of the wonderful pictures over the past couple of years that you have posted. He fought so hard. You fought so hard by his side and at every turn when the doctors didn’t get something right or missed the point. We have all been touched by time, by your strength, and this blog that has keep us all in touched and helped so many. PC is so cruel, took a wonderful man way too young. I am always here for you and your boys. Our home is always open to you any time you visit Richmond. Love for all of you. God, please cradle Scott in your love and care and bless his family. Mary Jo

    Comment by Mary Jo — May 23, 2012 @ 9:08 am | Reply

  73. Marissa, I’ve been following your fight from afar and have been in awe of you and Scott as you faced this horror. I didn’t have the honor of knowing your husband in person but the love and admiration of those who did is impressive and his fight is still inspiring. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys. May Scott rest in peace. Love, rahele

    Comment by Rahele — May 23, 2012 @ 9:15 am | Reply

  74. Marisa, Ours thoughts and prayers will be with you and the boys. You will need God and your support group to get through this very difficult time. My wife and I have been where you are and it is very difficult. Everyone that is reading these comments of encouragement do not forget to reach out two and three months from now. Marisa and you boys remember all the good times you had and share them with family and friends ofwill have sad days ahead but I bet you will have some laughs too. I bet Scott left you a ton of memories that made you laugh. Pranks he pulled and jokes. Please share them with all of us. God Bless and stay in touch. John and Deb.

    Comment by John Bussman — May 23, 2012 @ 9:23 am | Reply

  75. Marisa, I have been praying for you and your family all along. May the peace of the Lord continue to give you comfort and strength to be all that you need to be through this time and the road ahead. Please know that our life story is a testimony. Given that, you have blessed me from your example as a mom, with your courage and advice. Having a young son, I will continue to pray for them to hold on to the memory and the live spirit of love from their father. May he now rest in peace, no more sickness, no more pain….Sweet rest. Be encouraged. -Maria Haney

    Comment by Maria Haney — May 23, 2012 @ 9:24 am | Reply

  76. Marisa — my prayers are with you, your sons, and your extended family. Love is a wonderful gift we are given. It stays with us even when the ones we love are no longer physically with us. Jenny Michalec

    Comment by Jenny — May 23, 2012 @ 9:27 am | Reply

  77. Marissa, my family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and your sons today. Your family’s courage through this tremendous challenge has truly been inspirational. Scott’s will is something none of us will forget. I’m blessed to have been given the opportunity to play football with him for six years and to be a classmate. His legacy will not be forgotten.

    “Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever” – Jimmy Valvano…

    Jon, Michelle, Bailey and Jackson Baarda

    Comment by Jon Baarda — May 23, 2012 @ 10:04 am | Reply

  78. Marissa and the boys, I am very sorry for your loss. Scott is a college buddy and fraternity brother of mine that I’ve always admired and will forever cherish our friendship that is filled with spectacular memories. I will continue to Pray Big for you and your courageous family. Love, Respectfully,
    Oz Lindley

    Comment by Oz Lindley — May 23, 2012 @ 10:11 am | Reply

  79. Dear Marissa, I send you my most sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. My husbands journey ended one month ago, and thought the times are tough, there is peace. I wish this for you and your boys now and always. Becky Saltoon

    Comment by Becky Saltoon — May 23, 2012 @ 10:17 am | Reply

  80. Marisa,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Scott and your beautiful sons. You all have been so generous with your lives and showed the world how to live with grace, commitment and love.
    Love you all,
    Janene

    Comment by Janene — May 23, 2012 @ 10:25 am | Reply

  81. Dear Marissa,

    Peace be with you and your boys! You & Scott have deeply touched our lives. When my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pc in July, 2010 he googled pancreatic cancer and found “My Crappy Pancreas”. Right away he connected to Scott and they were both on the same Folfirinox treatment. We have followed every step of your journey for the last 2 years and your strength has been our strength. You have connected many others to us as well and we are grateful for that as well. We will continue to “Pray Big”…always!

    Love…Jane & Michael from Michigan

    Comment by Jane Cruse — May 23, 2012 @ 10:33 am | Reply

  82. Marisa — We are praying for the boys and you.

    Love, Billy and Brooke Baxter

    Comment by Billy Baxter — May 23, 2012 @ 11:33 am | Reply

  83. Marissa, my dear. You must know that you and your family have been in my prayers for some time now. Scott will forever live in your heart and in your two beautiful boys. Love, Maggie’s mom

    Comment by grandmadotty — May 23, 2012 @ 11:47 am | Reply

  84. Many, many prayers are with you all during this incredibly difficult time for you and your family. I only knew Scott for a short time but had such great conversations and always so touched by his faith and great example of a fine Christian man, husband and father.

    Comment by Amy Holcombe — May 23, 2012 @ 5:28 pm | Reply

  85. Marissa, though i dont know you and your family personally, reading your blogs made me admire you, your faith, your courage and your unselfish love to Scott. God will always be with you and your family.Condolence!

    Comment by emma — May 23, 2012 @ 5:44 pm | Reply

  86. Marisa, I don’t you, but I’ve heard about your very difficult journey from Devin, my niece. I’m Jan, Joanne’s sister. Dev has told me about you and Scott and your two boys. She always refers to them as very nice boys. And you–she thinks the world of you, your strength, your ability to push forward and keep the family together. Hopefully now you can collapse for just a little while before taking the next steps. I want to meet you and the boys when I see Devin again, which I hope will be soon, And I want you to know that I’m very sad I didn’t have the opportunity to meet Scott–your brave, handsome, bright man. I know you’ll always remember him just like that.

    Comment by Jan Devine — May 23, 2012 @ 6:21 pm | Reply

  87. My dad died May 13 after only six months and one week. My heart goes out to you and the boys.

    Comment by Stephanie Byrne — May 23, 2012 @ 6:36 pm | Reply

  88. The cool, cool river
    Sweeps the wild, white ocean
    The rage of love turns inward
    To prayers of devotion
    And these prayers are
    The constant road across the wilderness
    These prayers are
    These prayers are the memory of God
    The memory of God

    And I believe in the future
    We shall suffer no more
    Maybe not in my lifetime
    But in yours I feel sure
    Song dogs barking at the break of dawn
    Lightning pushes the edges of a thunderstorm
    And these streets
    Quiet as a sleeping army
    Send their battered dreams to heaven, to heaven
    For the mother’s restless son
    Who is a witness to, who is a warrior
    Who denies his urge to break and run

    Who says: Hard times?
    I’m used to them
    The speeding planet burns
    I’m used to that
    My life’s so common it disappears
    And sometimes even music
    Cannot substitute for tears

    – Cool, Cool River, Paul Simon

    May you be comforted among those who mourn
    May Scott’s memory continue to be a blessing to you

    Comment by Marni Anbar — May 23, 2012 @ 7:24 pm | Reply

  89. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your family’s incredible strength, determination, and love was described through the poetry of your writing. And thank you for the strength and information you have given my husband and I as we wind our way through, on our own path.
    Peace!

    Comment by Sue Luescher — May 23, 2012 @ 9:41 pm | Reply

  90. Marisa, Cole and Max,
    My heart, my prayers and my love goes out to you. May the memories of Scott be a source of strength. He is resting peacfully in God’s hands.

    Comment by Nicole Blocker — May 23, 2012 @ 11:32 pm | Reply

  91. What an amazing way to give tribute to a man whose life touched so many!!! O Captain! My Captain!, words from one of my favorite poets. Words ive read so many times but have never been so meaningful until i read this last post from you in honor of Scott. The tears streamed down my face as i read it realizing that the fight was finally done. Through your blog i came to feel like i knew Scott and i prayed for his recovery. Cancer comes silently like a thief in the night and takes so much but can never take the love and memories that we have. My prayers are with you and your family.

    Comment by Lu — May 24, 2012 @ 7:30 am | Reply

  92. Dear Marisa, Cole,and Max,Thank you for the words and the feelings in this last posting. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love for you all.May God look down upon you and give you comfort and peace. Scott is at rest. Love from Barbara Wolfe, David’s Mom

    Comment by Barbara Wolfe — May 24, 2012 @ 10:07 am | Reply

  93. I have followed your blog off and on and was so sad to see this entry today. Scott fought an amazing fight, as did my very much loved husband, Jud, who died of pancreatic cancer on February 24. Interestingly, the last place Jud and and I looked for treatment was Johns Hopkins. You and I watched the men we loved transition to a new life after suffering so much from this very difficult cancer. Please know that I have prayed for your husband in St. Paul, MN and now will continue to pray for you and your family. I do believe that someday we will meet our dear husbands in heaven.
    Sue

    Comment by Susan Reaney — May 24, 2012 @ 7:15 pm | Reply

  94. Our thoughts, prayers and love are with you Marisa, Max and Cole. We are so fortunate to know you and your family. God bless you all.

    Comment by Shannon, Karl, Perry and Amelia — May 24, 2012 @ 7:25 pm | Reply

  95. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been following your blog religiously every since my father was diagnosed december 10′. Your blog was a nice anchor for me during the hard time. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

    Comment by Sarah H. — May 24, 2012 @ 10:00 pm | Reply

  96. I am so sorry. He was a great man. A great Briton.

    Comment by Jack Deegan — May 24, 2012 @ 11:16 pm | Reply

  97. Marisa, we have been following Scott’s progress through Tom. He has been on our church prayer list
    also. We are truly heartbroken for you and the kids. I know Tom is devastated. So glad he and Brett
    got to see Scott so recently. Please accept our thoughts and prayers for you. We both loved him dearly.
    Jim and Kris Riva (Tom’s parents)

    Comment by Jim and Kris Riva — May 25, 2012 @ 9:29 am | Reply

  98. Marisa, I was so sorry to hear of Scott’s passing. He was such a kind person and we enjoyed our time with him here in Manakin Sabot. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys.

    Laura and Gary Lewis

    Comment by Laura Lewis — May 29, 2012 @ 4:20 pm | Reply

  99. Marisa – I am so sorry for your loss. I did not know Scott for very long but I value the time were able to share together at McGuireWoods. May he rest in peace.

    Comment by Doug Smith — June 20, 2012 @ 7:59 pm | Reply

  100. God bless you and your family, Marisa. I echo Doug’s sentiments – it was a blessing to work with Scott.

    Comment by Patrick G — June 26, 2012 @ 10:20 pm | Reply


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