Farewell to a friend

Marisa says: The Internet is a funny thing. It allows you to connect in ways that you aren’t expecting, and sometimes those connections become even more personal than those made in “real” life. When Scott was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, we wanted to reach out to the community around us. We wanted to keep family and friends up to date on what was going on, but more than that, we wanted the blog to chronicle this journey to serve as a source of information for others facing the same diagnosis. What we didn’t understand until later was how important the connections made because of the blog could become.

One of the people we met very early on was Erin. Erin was young, like Scott. A lawyer, like Scott. And Erin had been newly diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, with mets to the liver, like Scott. The timing of Erin’s diagnosis was such that she was able to move directly onto Folfirinox and was a week or two ahead of Scott in the regimen.

We were very fortunate that she reached out to us. She and Scott compared notes, tips and tricks. She shared the name of the mushrooms her grandmother found for her, that were supposed to help. She talked him through the infamous third Folfirinox cycle. She became a friend to both of us, talking with Scott about things only a fellow PC fighter could understand, and helping me through some of the things that Scott had trouble sharing with me. After Folfirinox, both Erin and Scott went on to radiation, albeit different types. Erin was always researching, trying to understand what was next, what was the plan to move forward.

Over time, the correspondence shifted, and she and I began corresponding more. Scott and I both would eagerly await the next email from Erin, yearning to hear how she was doing, what fun things she had been up to. She inspired us both to keep moving, to remember to enjoy, to not let this disease take over.

The closest we got to “meeting” Erin was looking for her in last Year’s Rose Bowl Parade. “I’ll be the one in the Sock Monkey hat,” she said. Everyone at our house was glued to the tv for the entire parade, for once, trying to catch a glimpse of her.

At one point, I had been particularly remiss in not emailing Erin back promptly. What can I say…the plate was full, dealing with the abscesses, other complications and the craziness of our lives. Erin immediately put me at ease, saying that neither of us should apologize for being out of touch, given all that was going on. How right that was!

As we moved into Fall, both Erin and Scott moved onto Abraxane. However, the tumors in Erin’s liver had taken off. We hoped the Abraxane would get things under control. It didn’t. In November, Erin made the courageous decision to stop treatment and move to hospice. She was tired. She wanted to enjoy herself without all of the crappy side effects. But instead of slowing down, she swam, she visited, she continued to plan a Christmas trip to Disneyland with her family.

I understand that her family made that trip to Disneyland this week. Sadly, Erin didn’t get to make the trip with them. On December 14, Erin passed away surrounded by those she loved and those who loved her.

Erin’s passing was hard for us both. Erin was a friend. A compadre. A fellow soldier in this fight. She understood better than any what we are going through. She and Scott were going to beat this. But, she has gone on ahead of us all.

However hard though, I know that she would want to see Scott succeed, to keep fighting and to keep sharing for the benefit of others. She would kick Scott’s butt, if he thought of doing anything other than that.

My heart goes out to Erin’s family and friends. When you are praying BIG, please say a prayer for them too.

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